


if you can't stop shaking

by OhMaven



Series: we don't look the same anymore [3]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, bodhi is a cinnamon roll, give Bodhi all the sisters okay, idk I just needed to write Bodhi being adorable I guess, this is more of an overview fic I guess?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-12-04 04:29:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11547501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhMaven/pseuds/OhMaven
Summary: "No one wants when you have no heart and, I'm sitting pretty in my brand new scars. You'll never know if you don't try again. So lets try, lets try, lets try." - Hallelujah





	if you can't stop shaking

There would be no more like Jedha, or like Alderaan. It was the quiet promise Bodhi Rook had made to himself when the news had first broken that the plans he and his friends had nearly died to retrieve were missing; the promise he’d whispered over and over to himself when he’d heard that the princess’ world was gone. The old prayers his mother had once taught him were gone, but the voices of Galen Erso - and his daughter - had replaced them.   
  
_ You can make it right, Bodhi Rook, if you’re brave enough - and listen to your heart. _

_ It wasn’t too late. We can beat the people who did this. _   


He hadn’t been able to participate more actively in destroying the first Death Star than retrieving the plans from Scarif - whenever he fluttered his hands and helplessly apologized for that fact, Jyn would swat at him gently. His hands were covered in scars; from fingertips to elbows, a testimony to how close they had all come to dying for those plans. Jyn liked to remind him of that fact, but it didn’t always help. Galen’s daughter was a powerful force, someone to be reckoned with, and he doubted anyone looked at her with the kind of pity he felt lingering on him so often.  


Between the scattered nature of his mind in those early days, and the shiny, off-putting, scars on his arms no one had quite known what to  _ do _ with him as the Alliance departed Base One and scattered to prevent the Empire from being able to retaliate. Jyn had gone into the Pathfinders, the young Jedi had scooped up Baze and the recovering Chirrut for some private quest of his own, and of course Cassian was most useful as a spy and saboteur.   
  
But what use was there for an anxious pilot?   
  
Bodhi had wanted to  _ fly _ again; to sit at the controls of a ship and feel like - even if only for a moment - he was still part of making it right again. No one had taken his desire seriously, at least not until he’d met Shara Bey in the mess favored by the pilots. She had dark eyes; sharp but not unkind, and she hadn’t shown an ounce of pity when she dropped into the vacant seat across from him.   
  
“You want to learn our A-wing techniques?” The question was casual, the words spilling out between mouthfuls of the breakfast the human woman was shoveling into her mouth. “We brought our training birds with us, and I’ve got some downtime.”   
  
Not knowing what to say, Bodhi had merely stared at her, until the lieutenant had kicked him lightly under the table. “Uh, ye-yes. I would like that. Thank you.”   
  
In some ways, his new friend reminded him of Jyn Erso - he missed Galen’s daughter fiercely, if he was honest - there was all the relentlessness of his sister-figure, but without her sharp edges. They’d started on the A-wing immediately after breakfast, and it had felt so  _ good _ to be off the ground once more, where he belonged.   
  
After that, Green Squadron had absorbed Bodhi into their ranks. Nobody asked about his scars, or his demons, and over time some of the terror over what Bor Gullet had done to his mind faded. The anxiety remained, but he found ways of coping - of fighting back, in countless battles and missions. He never forgot to be brave, or listen to his heart.   
  
And now, here they were, years later - and they had  _ made it right _ . There would be no more like Jedha City, no more like Alderaan. Around him, on the lovely moon called Endor, the celebration rang loud and victorious; he’d even caught Jyn with a smile on her face and a drink in her hand, and wasn’t that a change from the last time they’d all danced under the cinder and ash of an obliterated battle station?   
  
It was a little more quiet here, in the corner of firelight Bodhi occupied. His friends had paired off, disappearing into the shadows to do what lovers would. There hadn’t been room for that in his life, at least not yet. But maybe...now he could have something offer another person. For the first time since he’d put on an Imperial uniform, Bodhi Rook felt like someone worth knowing - worth  _ loving _ . It was a good feeling. The nightmares of yesterday were still hovering around his mind, of course, and there was a long way to go until all the galaxy was right again, but for tonight…   
  
Yes, for tonight he was going to drink to Galen Erso. To Jedha City. To all those who had come before him, and those who would come after, and this time when a beautiful pair of eyes smiled at him, and a friendly hand extended in an invitation to dance, Bodhi Rook joined in.   
  
He was going to be brave, and listen to his heart.

**Author's Note:**

> This got more overview-y than I intended, but I wanted to address what Bodhi does in this particular vein of fix-it universe? I needed to bridge the anxious/jittery Bodhi we know in Rogue One to the Bodhi who serves as Cassian's best man in the first fic of the series so...here we go? I kind-of like it. I really love the idea of Shara and Bodhi being friends, too? I see a lot of her and Cassian, but Bodhi's gotta have some pilot friends. (And I dare you to try thinking about Bodhi and bby Poe and not just melt all over everything!)


End file.
